With fear of sounding a little too crass, people scare me. And annoy me, and on occasion, infuriate me. They say one thing, but mean another. A conversation can easily become and assault course of traps and pitfalls, just waiting for you to fall into.
"To tell lies at work and then expecting great truths in meditation is nonsensical."
— Sharon Salzberg (via wordslessspoken)
As I write this, i’m just beginning to add the final section to my Masters Degree dissertation, which is due in on Tuesday. Then that’s it, save for a Viva about a week later, but essentially, that’s it. Done. 5 years of higher education, a Bachelors Degree, A (hopefully) Masters Degree, and a recent diagnosis of Depression. I thought the idea of finally escaping the claustrophobic, incubated conditions of University Life would thrill me, but now, for the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do. The worst part is, I’m expected to know this by now, and once, I did. But after studying my chosen field for 5 years, it became harder, and harder to cope with. As of writing this, only 2 other people are aware of how I feel, and after next week, I’ll most likely never see them again. I’m scared I’ll just disappoint those who expect me to soar to the top of my field, if they knew how I truly felt about it.